These Trials..... they never END!

Pic courtesy-Internet

Today morning as I was leaving for work with my brain on overdrive trying to devise a fix for a broken software code that I was meant to resolve the previous day; I saw a guy and two girls armed with textbooks doing some last minute prep in the parking lot of our apartment building.
 As I made my way to my bike, I found a piece of paper on the ground right next to where my bike stood. It happened to be the examination hall-ticket of one of the girls for the HSC (XII grade) board exams. As I stooped to retrieve the paper, my back hurt due to weight of the laptop bag and the awkward position (After spending six yrs confined to a desk before a computer screen, I'm currently not accustomed to this position :P )
The trio were so engrossed in their discussion of whether to re-read the alcohols and halogens or to try and memorize the nitrogens which they had skipped; they did not even see me approach.
 I handed over the hall-ticket and quipped an "All the best" that was met with three nervous smiles which immediately transported me back to the days long gone by - those days of trying to clear an exam , exchanging notes with friends to make sure if they too had skipped the same chapters like you, the last minute cramming of new information that your friend claimed to be "verrry important" ,  the frantic turning of pages just before the final bell hoping your fleeting glance would magically help you conjure up answers during the exam to even trying to bribe God to grant you an easy exam in exchange of giving-up your favorite chicken-dish for a month.
Even your parents tried to motivate you by saying this is the final quest after which you can have a peaceful life and you just can't wait to grow up and be done with them once and for all - those dreadful EXAMS! :f
And then you grow up and life throws at you a whole new set of challenges - earning a living, getting over a heartbreak, trying to keep a job that gives you pre-mature greying and a back-pain and trying to be RESPONSIBLE and RIGHT all the time when you have no idea what is exactly RIGHT for you -  and in these quests no matter how well you are prepped you  never seem to ace them! :(

So dear students this exam season just give it your best shot, if you do well - 'Good job!' but if you don't never-mind, coz remember this is not the end. Life can have even worse trails ... but these exams you can always get a second chance!

P.S: Yup I am on a philosophical banter here. My hiatus has definitely made me rusty! 
But not keeping resolutions this year seems to be working better! :P
So while I scrape out the rust here's wishing all you folks a Happy 2016! :) - well there are still 10 months to go- I'm not that late... "RIGHT"?? :P

Lost and Found?

Everyone of us has a lost and found story as a kid. You don't? :o And I thought mine was the most boring childhood ever! :P

Anyway flashback to the time when I was a 3-year-old and Dad decided to take me to the 'Sunday market'. Sunday markets were the busiest of all days. It was so crowded that people had to wade through, squish-squashing each other.And what a ruckus it was, that even if you yelled at the top of your voice nobody would pay head! :/
So taking an hyper-active toddler to this brouhaha was definitely a mistake! :f

Well, so on that fateful day I had no idea how I let go my Dad's hand and wandered off on mine own. It took me a while to figure out that I had been lost. I looked around at all the passing legs and none belonged to Dad. I did try searching for the right pair of legs for a while, but finally gave up and retraced my steps back to Dad's scooter.
I have no idea how I found my way back as even being armed with a GPS these days, I'm never able find the same street again and even more thanks to Dad for choosing an 'outrageous blue' color, I could spot the scooter even from outer space! :P
So there I was waiting patiently for Dad to discover me and  after what seemed like ages, Dad turned up panting and the relief that flooded his face on seeing me perched on the scooter was immeasurable. I though had the look that it was the most obvious place you would find me! :P
However that put an end to Dad ever taking me to any place alone. He always made sure Mum was in tow to keep a watchful eye on me. ;)

But then again that misadventure did help me brag about my smartness to one and all over the years and also conjure up this post. :)

As kids whenever we we got lost, we somehow always seemed to find our way back with or without the help of some good Samaritan.

But now as grownups ,we tend to get lost on a whole new level and there seems to be no one who can direct us back , we just have to do it all by ourselves ... adjust our sails and paddle our way to the right destination.
But sadly we seem to have no clue about the right destination :(

As A Kid I Believed.........

• Stuffed toys came to life at night when we are all asleep, so I never owned one but now I have a cart-load of them. xD
• My grandparents lived in a 'black and white' world. And they prayed to God to make it colorful. ;)
• Only Mum knows everything, something I still believe in. Yes even Google just comes a close second! :P
• The nose would grow longer if I lied. So I have always been honest to the core!
• If I got 'good' grades ; I was a 'good' kid. Now you know why I was such a nerd! :f
• Ghosts and monsters could never penetrate my blanket. This still holds true! :)
• If we dig a hole deep enough in India we would get out in America
• Grownups were the 'happiest' people in the world since they did not have to take tests or exams.
• Everything had 'human emotions' even the furniture. So if I bumped into one, I would pat them and say 'Sorry' :$
• MAGIC exists!
• Kissing made babies. :r  Yes too much Bollywood movies I tell you.
• Crying my heart out when I realize my favorite clothes have shrunk. :c  A phenomenon that doesn't seem to cease even when I'm all grown up.
• Growing up would be the happiest thing that could ever happen. What the hell was I thinking! :|
• People I saw on TV, lived inside the TV.
• ATMs gave you money for free and only the card required to get the money was really expensive. So I was elated when my Dad finally got one! xD
• Dogs were all 'male' and cats where all 'female'. No idea why!
• If you accidentally ate seeds of a fruit, you would die. I was terrified to eat pomegranates.
• Strongly believed - 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away' and was totally annoyed when Mom dragged me to the doctor when I hurt my leg. :@
• Money grew on 'money-plants'. xD
• All the cartoon characters were real and they lived in Disneyland.
• You could never have more than one 'best friend'.
• All the grownups were intelligent. Well they did give pretty convincing performances. :P
• If you married the person you love, only then its 'true love' :$
• People died only when they got old. And I had a long way to go.... :f
• God would punish me if I did not finish everything on my plate. :o
• If I spoke to a stranger, they would kidnap me! :o
• The world was a tiny place. Only the people I knew or saw existed. Imagine my disappointment when I realized I did not know 'everyone' in the world! xD
• Before I learned to read and write, when I heard people spell out words I thought they were exchanging spy codes :r
• Nothing bad happens to good people!

Sadly these beliefs did not stick for long, ah growing up really sucks! :(

Those were the days....

I'm sure you are going to smile and nod as you scroll down this list... and the grin is just gonna get wider.... :) ;)

1. Playing 'lingorcha' / 'pittu' (7 tiles) and gully cricket in the streets with the guys , and getting offended as you are termed the 'kachha-limbu' (novice player) of the team :@
2. Terming one of the deserted bungalows in the locality as "bhoot bangla" (haunted house) and trespassing to explore it. The haunted stories related to the bhoot-bangla never subsided and we just added to the tales after every heroic expedition. :/
3. .Breaking window-panes / stealing mangoes from that mean nosy neighbor who yelled at you and your friends for apparently no reason :v
4. Happily agreeing to run errands for mom , as she allowed you to keep the change (only the coins) that went straight into a piggy-bank or got traded for the 25 paise orange candies or the packets of tamarind that were sold by the roadside vendor. ;)
5. Jumping into the muddy puddles after every rain and racing paper boats with our friends :)
6. Chaat and pani-puri stalls outside the school, which both teachers and parents discouraged us to patronise. And yet...
7. Singing the 'Happy Birthday' song on top of our voice as the teacher made the birthday girl / boy stand before the entire class and then trying to strike a deal for an extra chocolate as he/she came around with a chocolate-box. ( Actually our class had a different version of the birthday song- "Happy Birthday to you... Tra..la..la...la..la" Anyone remember ?? ) :party
8. Watch in awe as mom haggled with the vegetable vendors/ shopkeepers -("Bhaiya chalo thoda kam kardo... chalo aapka na mera...") and try to learn the tricks of the trade. :brow
9. Praying for a power-cut so that you were not made to study. ;)
10. .Being made the class monitor and have a look of disaster on your face as the timid you could not make an impact on the unruly crowd. :f
11. Secretly carrying friendship bands to school as our school prohibited tying friendship bands as a rule, probably because it was so lame! ( But then we have just graduated to Facebook now! :P)
12. Gathering your last bit of memories on the last day of school by filling up slam books with innocent remarks like AIM in life - "Marry a beautiful wife" / "Be in-separable friends till the sun never rises again!" ;)
13. Check on your love-meter with your crush, by playing 'FLAMES' on the last page of the notebook :$
14. Chat with your best pal during a class by passing paper notes across the classroom.
15. Making important decisions by tossing a coin :b
16. "Bhaite bhaite kya kare, karna hai kuch kaam, shuru karo antakshari lekar prabhu ka naam" , and run out on songs from 'म' , 'न' and 'य' as you have sung them all :tone
17. Four homes and a single landline phone number - "Aunty aapka phone aaya hai!"
18. Gather at your neighbor’s place to gaze at the latest addition to his family - a new TV set / fridge / mixer grinder and munch on the sweets for the joyous occasion. ( Yes back then every new gadget was like a family member which stayed on in the family for the next 20-30 yrs! )
19. Summer vacations were always at Grandma's place getting pampered and getting FAT!
20. School beginnings with new bags, new water-bottles and brown paper covered notebooks with fancy labels. :)
21. Pestering Dad to buy the Camel Water Colors as everyone had one and the pride of owning the most exquisite looking butterfly-dish! ;)
22. Renting video cassettes with a dubious print to watch movies on a VCR. :)
23. Learning to make real chapattis using your playing kitchen-set! :/
24. The horrendous punishment of being made to stand near the dustbin when you have been notorious in class. :(
25. Using the blackboard white-chalk to whiten your PT shoes as they were going to be inspected by your teacher. ;)
26. Reading comics and novels hidden between textbooks 8|
27. Waiting eagerly for Christmas party at school as you did not have to wear school uniforms and you could flaunt the new dress that Mom got you for Diwali/ Christmas :e
28. Competing with the neighbouring locality kids while making 'killa' (forts) during Diwali and blowing up their forts with crackers on Diwali night :vD
29. Letting out the air from the cycle /scooter tyres of your pesky neighbour :v
30. Playing 'Chor-Police' , Name-Place-Animal-Thing and book-page cricket during class hours :)
31. 'Mario' and the 'brick-game' were the only video games you knew. :)
32. "Bhudiya ke baal" was something you ate. :)
33. Trying to recite the national Pledge in Hindi and Marathi during class assemblies. It was so tough! :f
34. Everyone had a tiny phone diary scribbled with landline numbers, though we had memorised all of the numbers for the fear of losing the diary. xD
35. Making a God promise with a neck-pinch and actually keeping it fearing you would invoke God's wrath. :O
36. During a foggy winter , blow fog out your mouth and pretend you are smoking. :)
37. Making faces when Mom asks you to drink milk before going out to play. :~
38. Watching ScoobyDoo, Popeye,Captain Planet,Dexter etc on Cartoon Network with a poor cable TV connection. :)
39. Learning to ride a cycle with the help of the older bhaiyas in the locality on a cycle you rented for an hour. ;)
40. Drinking Rasna with friends after a hard day's play :f
41. Neighbours and relatives coming to bless you for final exams as if you are about to fight a war. :P
42. The watchman and postman uncles asking for 'bakshis' (reward money) for their affluent services during Diwali or when they find out that you have aced a test. :brow
43. Hunting for  a pen as soon as you enter the classroom to ink a dot on your palm so that you did not have to forfeit a chocolate as you were playing Jolly with a bunch of your friends. :)
44. Kismi , Popins and Gems were the treats you loved and the ParleG biscuits were nothing compared to the junk we get now! ;)
45. Walking in a single file with hands crossed behind our backs - we were so well disciplined back then! ;)
46. Gobble-up half the lunch during the 10AM break so you get extra time to play during the lunch hour! ;)
47. Scribble pages and pages of letters to your friends during summer vacations and wonder how you are going to post such a heap with a one-rupee stamp :f
48. Skating on the school corridors :)
49. Scribbling your  English homework during the bumpy school-bus ride as you forgot English is the first period of the day! :f
50. Trying to blow-up the biggest bubble while chewing a gum and get it all our your face! ;)

I know this list could be never ending... Feel free to add to this list :) :) :)

The La/ost Song....

I thank the social network which helped me re-bond with long lost school friends. Its fun to rekindle the joys of those lost sweet innocent years when everything was so easy and simple!
Those un-tucked shirts and open shoe laces, those drooping bags and trailing ribbons, those labelled books and dripping ink pens, those half-eaten lunch boxes and fancy water bottles, those innocent crushes and trustworthy friendships....
Ah.. school days will always remain the the best phase of life !!! :):)

Though I know we cannot go back in time and relive those moments, but old friends when catch up after decades can reminiscent those good old days. :)

And once such colloquium bought up the topic of a long lost funny song that made me famous ( totally not in a good way ) , it was a song that I had first introduced to my gal pals when i had joined the new school in 4th grade , - as making an extremely jittery and shy kid sing a song was  part  of their ' trying to break the ice with the new kid' game plan.
 So to get them off my back , i chose to sing a song that was taught to us in my previous school during a bonfire meet of our scout club and especially because the lyrics of this song had not yet vaporized from my head  :/
[ You can make me memorize any chronology of events  in history with their dates/time but when it comes to lyrics my brain goes for a toss - My hypothesis is that its the rhythm and melody of the song that confounds my basic skills of mastering the lyrics of a composition. :/  ]

But i never thought, those few verses that i uttered for these little girl bullies on the playground would turn  catastrophic  for me, because the very next day when the teacher decided to give us some free-time, the gals wanted to hear me sing that song again. [ Grrrrrr... Now the entire class would know about my dumb song.. :/  ]
And from there on, every time a new teacher was assigned to our class, she would be blessed ( cursed ) to hear me sing that song. Though the chants of 'Rino...' 'Rino....' 'Rino...' should have made me feel more like a rock star, but it only startled and terrified me and i held onto my wits as i tried to remember the verses of my song correctly - every time i was asked to perform.

Over the years I  lost count of how many times i had sung this song for my class , but it was always fun to sing it for them - some of them joined in, some of them giggled like they were still hearing it for the first time, some of them jeered at me , while some of them just went about minding their own business and not bothering about my plight. :/

But this went a step further, when one day i was summoned by a teacher to a senior class, she wanted me to sing the song for her class. I was stupefied, one  look at the stone-faced tall hefty teenagers, and tremors ran down my spine. I felt like a tiny buffoon who had wandered into the land of barbarians and my only way out was to make them laugh. :/

So i resigned to my fate and began my song, the first verse was over and the faces till remained the same (or may have hardened a bit more ) , i stammered and fumbled on to the next verse and there was still no effect on my apathetic listeners :/ Small beads of sweat appeared on my forehead and my cheeks seemed to be on fire, hot air blew out from my ears - and with the third verse, i felt that any moment now the crowd would start hurling things at me, the fourth verse was over and i heard a few giggles come from the crowd , my nerves relaxed a bit and as i ended the song - the crowd was in peals of laughter. Phew!!!
I'm not sure whether their mirth was at my feeble attempt to make them laugh with a song that was too dumb for their age, or they simply did find it amusing but i was relieved that my task was done , i dashed out from there, resolving never to sing this song again in my life!

And so  from then on whenever i was requested to sing a song- i would pick up some complicated Sanskrit shlok ( hymn ) or some song in my native tongue ( Malayalam ) making sure that my audience had no knowledge of what i was trying to hum, that way i was safe and nobody would ever know even if i messed up the lyrics . Smart eh! ;)


But after years, when i was requested /appealed / beseech-ed / provoked and threatened my those very brats to sing the song, it felt a bit nostalgic that over the years they still remembered by dumb song and it really did bring a big smile on my face :)

So here goes the song ( no need to close your ears, m not singing it.. :/  )
Interestingly, i haven't forgotten the lyrics of this song- guess some things remain etched in our memories forever!

P.S : For those who have stumbled by from a non-Hindi land, sorry no translations available here - basically the song is just about the ordeal i go through while trying to cook up an eggplant from my uncles farm... Hmmmm :/

Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar 

Mein toh baiganya todne lagee, mein toh baiganya todne lagee
Kaate ghuse do chaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar  

Mein toh baiganya katne lagee, mein toh baiganya katne lagee,
Keede nikle do chaar, ke  baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar  

Mein toh baiganya chachne lagee, mein toh baiganya chachne lagee,
Makhi gire do chaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar  

Mein toh baiganya parosne lagee, mein toh baiganya parosne lagee,
Dande mile do char , ke baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar  

Mein toh baiganya fekane lagee, mein toh baiganya fekane lagee,
Kutte bhoke do char , ke baigan bade mazedaar 

Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar 

The unknown... the unseen.. ?

Over the weekend I've been playing songs from around a decade ago and this song kinda got stuck in my head and has been running in a loop ever since. :tone :tone :tone

... andekha anjana sa
            pagala sa diwana sa
               jaane woh kaisa hoga re....

[For the ones who have wandered by from the non-Hindi land, here's my feeble attempt to a word-to-word translation ]

... unknown and unseen
         crazy and passionate
            don't know how he's really gonna be...

[Those who have a better translation please feel free to leave it in the comments section.]

Yeah I know the song sounds very  silly now. But back in my teens I was a die-hard fan of those cheesy gooey mushy romantic Bollywood movies. [ Somewhere in my heart I still am .. ;) ]
Those movies were soooo very dreamy that it made me  sketch in my heart and mind the image of that perfect dream guy - my 'andekha anjana sa '....  :/


Everything was crystal clear to me- his physique, his charming personality, his thoughts, his attitude, what he thought about me, how he reacted to my antics, his magnetic smile, the deep husky voice - apart from his face of course..  :(  The face was always very hazy.

Since it was all in my head - I knew him perfectly well. :)
He was the guy who loved me the most in this world. He would treat me like a queen everyday and consider himself fortunate that his lucky stars had bought me to him.
[OK stop chuckling now.. its my story.. my script... and I always play the upper hand here.. :P ]

The very thought of him - and my heart would start racing. His one look gave me goosebumps. He was slightly haughty but equally humble. He could be hilarious and solemn at the same time.
He totally got me and was equally mesmerised by me as I was with him.
Yeah I know - he was soooooooo very real to  me that it might all sound very creepy !

I started to compare and tally the guys I met in real life with the dream guy in my virtual world and finally strike them out  as none of them even came close to being him.

Life took its ugly turns and thoughts became mature, people came and left and the hope of finding my ' andekha anjana  ' started fading slowly, sometimes making me wonder - had my prince charming lost his way in the dark woods and was too stubborn to ask directions to his beautiful princess. Yeah I know i can get really filmy at times. Sheesh .. :/

Finally with age came wisdom ( hair loss and wrinkles ) , realisation struck hard - I was never gonna meet my ' andekha anjana ' as he was toooo perfect to be real and God had never intended to incarnate anyone like him. Ahhh... growing up really sucks ! :/ 

Guys who have stumbled by stop guffawing.. :P

Believe it or not but every gal has an ' andekha anjana ' in her teens - that perfect guy whom she creates and re-creates in her dream world and then you unruly boys barge in , burst her bubble shake her up from her deep slumber and make her face the ugly truth that - its all a whimsy !
Sigh <\3  

First Interview!

Nope this post is not about my first job interview. This is about the first interview of my life. Confused?
Well I was 2 years and 6 months old and this nerve-racking interview was to gain an admission into a kindergarten of a prestigious school. : O

For many Indian parents, getting their children into the right kindergarten is simply essential. Why? Well, Obviously, the right kindergarten leads to the right primary school, which leads to the right secondary school, which leads to Harvard, Yale or Oxford or the prestigious IITs which leads to . . . Nirvana! :P

So my parents too were under the illusion that the right kindergarten was an indispensable launching pad for an illustrious academic career and they were hell bent upon getting me into one of the very famous school in our vicinity.

Thus started the gruelling sessions of preparing me for the interview, since the day they heard me babble out a few random words, my parents  started pointing out things around me and make me repeat those words. How boring! :P

Sometimes the guest and relatives who dropped by also started making me say things, which sometimes irritated me as they were just doing it for their amusement and never even gave me the promised chocolates.  Bribe a little kid, and don't even pay up!  How very mean. : /

So i would start to  become balky and refuse to answer their questions, and they would try to enact a little tough love by taking away my favourite toys, thereby causing me to go 'Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa' breaking all the bearable decibel limits, but of course ensuring that I got back my toys without  having to answer their stupid questions. Smart eh! :D

Dad would sometimes play nursery rhymes on the player, hoping that I would catch a few words and learn them, but I of course found the Bollywood songs more catchy and would start saying random words from Hindi songs and  prance around the room happily while the lady in the tape was going 'Jack and Jill went up the hill.....' , leaving Dad to tear his hair out and yell 'Daivameeeee !' ('Oh Lord!'). Yup it was quite a rhapsody and would have given any musician a severe heart-attack. : )

Though the tunes of all the nursery rhymes sounded the same, In the end, I still managed to master a few nursery rhymes, the only problem being I would pen my own lyrics on the fly by borrowing stanzas from different poems.. : /

So finally the day of my interview dawned and like everyday I made a ruckus about why I was not allowed to wear my favourite pink fairy dress, but my parents wanted me to make a good impression on the interviewer so I had to dress-up appropriately. Really is there a formal dress code for a kid interview too ??  :O
And so the demand for my fairy dress was settled with a bribe of a big milk chocolate. Yup chocolates remain the only way to bribe me even today! :D

The interviewer though din seem so impressed with my frock, but she used it as a prop and asked me to name all the colors in it.
Geez Mom thanks, if you would have allowed me to wear my pink fairy dress all i had to say was 'PINK' but now this multi-colored polka dot frock was gonna  land me in trouble. : (

So i was bombarded with a lot of questions ranging from my name, to what i had for break-fast, different fruit-names, nursery-rhymes so on. Yeah it still puzzles me that if a kid ought to know all these things for an interview, what were the teachers going to teach us in kindergarten. : /

They grilled me for 15 mins straight ( yes it seems like an era in kiddie world ) and luckily for my parents I being an outgoing kid then than the introvert person that I'm today, I answered most of  the questions cheekily.

Then came the bumper question that would seal my fate, the teacher asked me to draw a mango on a sheet of paper.I readily obliged and  drew a big blob with a leaf like thingie on the top and colored the entire blob green.

Teacher - "Baby, mango has yellow color not green."
Me (looking confused) - " Er... This I like."
Teacher (totally lost) - ?

What i wanted to tell her was that, I liked the green (raw) mangoes than the yellow sweet ripe ones. Mangoes will and always remain green for me. :P
Well my love for green mangoes got me kicked out of my first interview and my parents dream school.
Sigh.

After years of changing schools, I again landed up at the doorsteps of the same school that  had rejected me for my green-mango-love.
After going through my excellent score cards of the previous years, the principal was impressed and admitted me into the school even though there was no vacancy (as only 60 students were allowed in one class.)

.....That's how i gate-crashed into my parents dream school and became Class 4 Div- A Roll No - 61 student with an extra desk all for myself. : )

You see Mom Dad, you just had to let me do it my way :D

And even though i din attend Harvard, Yale nor have any plans to attain Nirvana anytime in life, I still  seem to have turned out pretty well. I think. :P