A Silent Apology

Like many , "Monday morning-blues" stings me hard. It's a day no-matter what I do , I always seems to be running behind schedule. Getting back into the work-mode always seem to be a mammoth task! :f

On such a fateful Monday , as I am speeding to work on my Scooty with myriad thoughts drifting in my head and trying hard to stifle a yawn ; another biker whizzes past me from my blind side almost toppling me off my bike.
 I manage to screech to a halt with a palpitating heart. And being the true Indian that I am, as I look-up to curse the guy assuming he must have sped off; I was definitely in for a shock! :o

I see the biker halted just a few meters ahead. His visor of the helmet still being pulled down, I cannot see his face. Before I could even utter a word, he raises his hand and makes the OK gesture inquiring if all was good at my end. Bewildered I nod slowly. He immediately puts his palm to his heart and bows to apologize before gunning the bike to take off again.

It all happened so fast that it took  me a few seconds to recover from this escapade but I found myself smiling as I saw him vanish over the horizon. And as I kick-start my bike to heed for work, I even find myself murmuring a prayer to help the unknown biker reach his destination safe and on time. He really seemed to be in a hurry but his little action actually uplifted my Monday morning spirits which would have sunken to a new low had he not stopped to apologize.

In our hurried world, we forget to be mindful, to be courteous, to be humble , to be thankful. But we forget actions speak louder than words, even your small gesture can change someone's life for better or for worse or may just cure someone's Monday morning blues! ;)

To be or not to be.. ?

"What you wanna be when you grow up?"
The question that gets thrown at you at every turn of your life.
It starts off as a casual question to a toddler which slowly takes on a serious twist as life progresses.
Not just to your family , but its supposed to be the favorite ice-breaker for even those nosy uncles and aunts about whom you really don't care, but who seem to take profound interest in your ambitions :@

Well for me its been a whirlwind journey which still doesn't seem to cease! ;)

Having been taught by some of the best teachers in the world and being the nerd of the class; being a  'TEACHER' was my ultimate aim! :)
Many a times ahead of an exam , I was bombarded with requests to brief complex topics to my fellow peers who had come under-prepared; and thanks to those nervous bunch of idiots who showered praises for my humble efforts I started to believe - 'YES I could teach!' :brow
I even had a blackboard  at home where I practiced teaching my imaginary students and corrected books (old magazines) with a  RED pen Yes I was that serious! :P
Then as wisdom dawned on me,I realized teaching a bunch of nerve-wracks just before an exam (who seemed extremely attentive at that moment as their life depended on it ) and teaching a class full of impatient rowdies was a totally different affair! :/
And being impaired with the fear of public-speaking , I knew this job was never going to be my cup of tea :f

As I graduated to high school the 'Kargil War' happened and the air of patriotism seemed to be everywhere. My country was in trouble and I felt the need to act!
Though we lost a lot of soldiers to the war, it ignited a new spirit in me. I wanted to join the armed forces - serve my nation. And being the grand-daughter of a freedom fighter and a daughter of one who always wanted to join the army, it seemed to run in my blood. But then realization struck again, the physical ability needed to attain the feat was too high. I was a DWARF! :(

As I reached 10th grade, one of my cousin relocated to our place to study 'MEDICINE'. Her books fascinated me and I was drawn to the world of human science. Yes I wanted to be a doctor, the noblest profession ever and the thought of having the power to mend, fix and heal people was overwhelming. I would get to play GOD!
 Having lost my granny to a disease that affected just one-in-a-billion powered by resolve to be the 'best surgeon' in the world. I would be doing a noble deed everyday - saving peoples life! :angel
But then my fear of numbers halted my dream, as I stumbled at the medical entrance tests; Physics being a mandatory subject was full of numbers. Ah! What crap!! Why you need Physics to be a surgeon is still a mystery to me but my dream was definitely off the table now :(

I did want to give it another shot but losing an academic year din seem to go down well with my parents and so ENGINEERING happened - the next big thing any ambitious parent could think for their child. Though being an "Arithmophobic", how I survived Engineering is a whole other story. ;)
So here I am now writing software codes for a living! Having sustained in this industry for 5 years and seemingly doing a fair job with nobody doubting my skills I seem to be doing well. But the closest I got to saving a patient's life is just writing  some random code for 'not-so- life-threatening' medical devices. Sigh!

But then  again when work gets mundane, my heart does seem to wander - and having started this blog along with editing a book, being a writer does seem to fascinate me now and then. The occasional accolades and praises do fuel me to pen down a 'BOOK'. Only thing I  have no idea what to write about ? :(
Then on days when I perfect a  new recipe, I feel I should start-up a restaurant chain!!
 Mind you not a "single restaurant" but a "chain of restaurants". Yes I could get super ambitious at times!! :vD
And when friends rely on me to pick out outfits for them the 'entrepreneur' in me awakens again;  I definitely need to own a fashion house. ;)
Or when I watch a super-hero movie, I feel I should be secretly fighting crimes! ;)

But on days like today when life is bleak and some random test scores suggest my skills have sky-dived to a new low, I just seek some reason to be HAPPY! :(

Governed by IT!

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” : P
But I feel on some days it stops working even when we do not have to go to office. : (

Being an IT professional and working 5 days a week for countless hrs a day, sometimes it really gets to me. And I remain in my work-mode even on weekends or when I m on leave.
How so?
Picture these incidents:

- Sometimes I find myself wearing the company ID card on weekends when I m just going out with friends for a movie or to the store to get something. : /


- Sometimes while driving to a friend's place, I try flashing my company ID card to the security guard there when he asks me to sign the visitors book, yelling ' I work here! ' : /
[ Happened twice already, he's surely gonna shoot me next time. :O ]


- Sometimes I hold my hands in front of the tap at home expecting water to flow out automatically without turning the knob on. : /
[ This ones a classic, and my Dad who was waiting behind me to wash his hands after dinner thought I was sleeping standing up. Sheesh : / ]


- Sometimes when I feel cold at home, I tell Mum - we should raise a ticket to get the temperature adjusted : /
[ Mum keeps wondering, has my daughter totally lost it! :O ]


- Sometimes when I pick-up a call (especially on the landline ) I m prompted to say " Hi Mark, This is Rino here. And my status for today is.... "
[ Standard dialogue from my everyday status call at work ]


- Sometimes I end my personal emails with ' Please revert in case of any queries. ' : /


-  I try to log on to my personal computer at home using ' Ctrl+Alt+Delete ' : /


- I do not access my personal mail accounts / certain sites at home thinking they might be blocked anyway.


- Sometimes  when I am using my personal computer at home and it's 1pm, I immediately log on to    FaceBook thinking that it will be blocked in an hour. : /


- Sometimes I try to login to my personal accounts using my office ID and password. And when the login fails, I keep wondering, ' Oh Lord! Have my credentials expired or did someone hack my account and change the password.' :O


- Sometimes I give my extension number ' 6431 ' instead of my mobile number,  making the clueless person grumble ' Crazy woman, Am i supposed to guess the rest of the 6 digits! ' . Sheesh : /


- Sometimes when I m watching a movie at the cinemas or on  TV,  i keep glancing at the right hand bottom corner to check the time and wonder ' Who the hell disabled the taskbar?? ' : /


- Whenever I see a black screen, I m prompted to type-in the ' ANT ' command to compile my java program. : /


- When I m stuck on an error which does not get resolved or even reproduced on my environment for days,  my dreams are filled with pages and pages of log file errors. : /
[ Nasty errors really kill my beauty sleep.. :P ]


- Sometimes when somebody doesn't follow what I say [happens most of the time], I exclaim 'He's encountered a compile error!'
[Yup I can get really nerdy at times. :P]


And the best one-


- I wake up at 9am on a Sunday morning and think ' Damn, Am I late for work today ? ' :O

Phew!
Yeah I know I really really need a break!.. :D

Do you have any occupational hazards to share???