Totally 'be-car' !!

Finally after a two-year hiatus, hubby gets his new set of wheels!
Though its not the first time he owns a car, but this time the excitement and enthusiasm seems to be on a different level. :f
The last car he owned  had to go, because he married a super smart woman (yup that's me ;) ) who successfully managed to drill into his brain - "You need to invest in a home , not a PlayStation or a caaar!". :P
So as home EMIs took the toll on our minuscule budget, he had to part ways with his favourite toy!

Finally after a lot of deliberation, altercation - he shooting down most of my brilliant options and a dramatic search for the 'right' car that suits our needs ( or rather his ) , we zeroed in on a pre-owned car. :f
Though I hate the colour, he managed to win me over not with its aesthetics, its Torque, its Bhp or its safety features  but with the crucial promise of being there and driving me around 'whenever' and 'wherever' I needed  [  Well what more do I need !!! :) ]
But I had no idea what I was signing up for - random night drills to check if the car is 'OK'; if you are stepping out of the house for any reason - the car has to be inspected; no matter how late you come from work - the car has to be inspected ; over-driven googling on how to make the car even more "awesome", frequent discussions ( always one-sided ) on what the manufacturers should have done to make it more 'awesome', random instructions like " watch the door " , " don't leave your stuff in here " , " your nails could leave a scratch "  and the most damaging - refer to the car as 'she' not 'it'. :/ :/
 [ You think I am going to oblige that! :@ ]

Further more the constant obsession  to wash-dry-polish-vacuum the car to make it sparkle when getting him to take a bath on a lazy Sunday afternoon can be a tussle! :/

Yeah... you got it ! My new found nemesis who is stealing all the 'ATTENTION'! :@ :@

P.S:- I do pray the novelty wears off soon, as for now he is totally "be-car"! :/

Being "Mallu" in a "Non-Mallu" land!

I am one of those humongous number of  insanely crazy yet adorable  "Mallu" born and trying to survive  in a "non-Mallu" land (anywhere other than Kerala).

Though we are striving hard to be a better breed , here's an insight -

We do get offended at times when called 'Mallu' or 'Mellu' , we  would be preferred to be addressed as a 'Malayali'  as we speak Malyalam or a 'Keralite' as we hail from the state of Kerala.
But we are definitely  thankful to the ones who don't identify us as  'Madrasi' :P

Most of us don't have a last name, barring a few - the 'Menon' 'Nair' or 'Pillai' . But having succumbed to the necessity of a last name in the Non-Mallu land, some of us  are compelled to add  initials or add the location (place name) of their ancestral homes or the traditional occupational clans they originated from as their last names.
Beware these names turn to be pretty majestic!!! Dont believe! Try pronouncing 'Ezhuttachchan' [ Don't worry if you are not a Mallu, you are definitely gonna get it wrong!]
Unfortunately for me , I do not have a last name and I have always been at the mercy of  a world that doesn't seem to understand! :/

Mallus tend to name their kids in a rhyming manner, no matter whether the names make sense or not. Sample this: 'viji', 'liji' , 'siji' or 'lijo' , 'sijo', 'jijo'.
So either be the first-born to gain some leniency coz if you are the third born probably your name would sound retard! :P
Thankfully my parents planned to have a single piece like me - anything rhyming with 'Rino' would have been even more ridiculous!  Though I would have loved to have someone share my apathy. ;)

We have highly conservative parents. Dont believe? Try attending a Malayali congregation or a wedding in a short tight dress, you are bound to be treated like you just landed from Mars. :/
"You may now kiss the bride!" is a norm that is never happening in Kerala anytime soon! :P

Every Mallu parent owns a gold reserve that gets paraded at the weddings , but believe me we make sure the reserves exhaust soon after the wedding. ;)
Yes I'm broke too not matter what my wedding pictures suggest! :P

Our affinity for coconuts are not  just limited to the food, coz  they get added in famous dialogues like "I should have planted a coconut tree instead... "  used by every Mallu parent when we fail their expectations. :P

Onam is not our 'new-year' , but if you see some of us perched like monkeys on the "golden shower tree" (Cassia fistula) in the month of April trying to gather the yellow flowers, then its our new year. :)

We take immense pride in being the most 'bevda' (drunk) state in the country with the highest literacy rate ( More for the former than the latter!)

Yes we do have someone or the other in the middle-east or rather 'the Gelf' .  You see we make them function! :P And why should you complain we add to the GDP of the country! ;)

We contribute to most of the famous 'Mundu'  (lungi) jokes but no one  can  truly rock it like a Mallu can! ;) And the world is  in love with the Kerala 'Kasavu' sarees . Yes the white - golden saree every lady today vies for! :)

Believe me there are other food we eat other than 'idli' and 'dosha' ( that's how it should be pronounced). And they are far more delicious than you can imagine! :)

We are made to master the most complex language in the world , a language that's 'unspeakable' and 'incomprehensible' even  to our southern counterparts , but our relatives back in Kerala still feel we speak improper Malayalam! :/

We challenge  you to try your hand at learning our tongue with or without the "accent" but we can pick up any dialect, diction or accent with extreme ease! :)

We  have an opinion , a view about anything and everything under the sun! Though we know we should shut up at times but the Mallu "all-knowing" attitude in us  makes it rather difficult! :P

You are definetly  bound to have  atleast one Mallu colleague, classmate , neighbour , friend or  an acquintance no matter in which part of the globe you are . Yes we are that omnipresent! :P
We can adapt ,survive  and flourish anywhere and everywhere in the world. :)

But if you still haven't had a Mallu encounter - you have missed so much in life! :P
Because you don't meet a "Mallu", we happen to you! :)

Disclaimar:  I'm extremely proud of my Mallu origins , so please don't ban me from Kerala; how else will I ever eat beef again! :f

To be or not to be.. ?

"What you wanna be when you grow up?"
The question that gets thrown at you at every turn of your life.
It starts off as a casual question to a toddler which slowly takes on a serious twist as life progresses.
Not just to your family , but its supposed to be the favorite ice-breaker for even those nosy uncles and aunts about whom you really don't care, but who seem to take profound interest in your ambitions :@

Well for me its been a whirlwind journey which still doesn't seem to cease! ;)

Having been taught by some of the best teachers in the world and being the nerd of the class; being a  'TEACHER' was my ultimate aim! :)
Many a times ahead of an exam , I was bombarded with requests to brief complex topics to my fellow peers who had come under-prepared; and thanks to those nervous bunch of idiots who showered praises for my humble efforts I started to believe - 'YES I could teach!' :brow
I even had a blackboard  at home where I practiced teaching my imaginary students and corrected books (old magazines) with a  RED pen Yes I was that serious! :P
Then as wisdom dawned on me,I realized teaching a bunch of nerve-wracks just before an exam (who seemed extremely attentive at that moment as their life depended on it ) and teaching a class full of impatient rowdies was a totally different affair! :/
And being impaired with the fear of public-speaking , I knew this job was never going to be my cup of tea :f

As I graduated to high school the 'Kargil War' happened and the air of patriotism seemed to be everywhere. My country was in trouble and I felt the need to act!
Though we lost a lot of soldiers to the war, it ignited a new spirit in me. I wanted to join the armed forces - serve my nation. And being the grand-daughter of a freedom fighter and a daughter of one who always wanted to join the army, it seemed to run in my blood. But then realization struck again, the physical ability needed to attain the feat was too high. I was a DWARF! :(

As I reached 10th grade, one of my cousin relocated to our place to study 'MEDICINE'. Her books fascinated me and I was drawn to the world of human science. Yes I wanted to be a doctor, the noblest profession ever and the thought of having the power to mend, fix and heal people was overwhelming. I would get to play GOD!
 Having lost my granny to a disease that affected just one-in-a-billion powered by resolve to be the 'best surgeon' in the world. I would be doing a noble deed everyday - saving peoples life! :angel
But then my fear of numbers halted my dream, as I stumbled at the medical entrance tests; Physics being a mandatory subject was full of numbers. Ah! What crap!! Why you need Physics to be a surgeon is still a mystery to me but my dream was definitely off the table now :(

I did want to give it another shot but losing an academic year din seem to go down well with my parents and so ENGINEERING happened - the next big thing any ambitious parent could think for their child. Though being an "Arithmophobic", how I survived Engineering is a whole other story. ;)
So here I am now writing software codes for a living! Having sustained in this industry for 5 years and seemingly doing a fair job with nobody doubting my skills I seem to be doing well. But the closest I got to saving a patient's life is just writing  some random code for 'not-so- life-threatening' medical devices. Sigh!

But then  again when work gets mundane, my heart does seem to wander - and having started this blog along with editing a book, being a writer does seem to fascinate me now and then. The occasional accolades and praises do fuel me to pen down a 'BOOK'. Only thing I  have no idea what to write about ? :(
Then on days when I perfect a  new recipe, I feel I should start-up a restaurant chain!!
 Mind you not a "single restaurant" but a "chain of restaurants". Yes I could get super ambitious at times!! :vD
And when friends rely on me to pick out outfits for them the 'entrepreneur' in me awakens again;  I definitely need to own a fashion house. ;)
Or when I watch a super-hero movie, I feel I should be secretly fighting crimes! ;)

But on days like today when life is bleak and some random test scores suggest my skills have sky-dived to a new low, I just seek some reason to be HAPPY! :(