Thursday 27 September 2012

The La/ost Song....


I thank the social network which helped me re-bond with long lost school friends. Its fun to rekindle the joys of those lost sweet innocent years when everything was so easy and simple!
Those un-tucked shirts and open shoe laces, those drooping bags and trailing ribbons, those labelled books and dripping ink pens, those half-eaten lunch boxes and fancy water bottles, those innocent crushes and trustworthy friendships....
Ah.. school days will always remain the the best phase of life !!! :):)

Though I know we cannot go back in time and relive those moments, but old friends when catch up after decades can reminiscent those good old days. :)

And once such colloquium bought up the topic of a long lost funny song that made me famous ( totally not in a good way ) , it was a song that I had first introduced to my gal pals when i had joined the new school in 4th grade , - as making an extremely jittery and shy kid sing a song was  part  of their ' trying to break the ice with the new kid' game plan.
 So to get them off my back , i chose to sing a song that was taught to us in my previous school during a bonfire meet of our scout club and especially because the lyrics of this song had not yet vaporized from my head  :/
[ You can make me memorize any chronology of events  in history with their dates/time but when it comes to lyrics my brain goes for a toss - My hypothesis is that its the rhythm and melody of the song that confounds my basic skills of mastering the lyrics of a composition. :/  ]

But i never thought, those few verses that i uttered for these little girl bullies on the playground would turn  catastrophic  for me, because the very next day when the teacher decided to give us some free-time, the gals wanted to hear me sing that song again. [ Grrrrrr... Now the entire class would know about my dumb song.. :/  ]
And from there on, every time a new teacher was assigned to our class, she would be blessed ( cursed ) to hear me sing that song. Though the chants of 'Rino...' 'Rino....' 'Rino...' should have made me feel more like a rock star, but it only startled and terrified me and i held onto my wits as i tried to remember the verses of my song correctly - every time i was asked to perform.

Over the years I  lost count of how many times i had sung this song for my class , but it was always fun to sing it for them - some of them joined in, some of them giggled like they were still hearing it for the first time, some of them jeered at me , while some of them just went about minding their own business and not bothering about my plight. :/

But this went a step further, when one day i was summoned by a teacher to a senior class, she wanted me to sing the song for her class. I was stupefied, one  look at the stone-faced tall hefty teenagers, and tremors ran down my spine. I felt like a tiny buffoon who had wandered into the land of barbarians and my only way out was to make them laugh. :/

So i resigned to my fate and began my song, the first verse was over and the faces till remained the same (or may have hardened a bit more ) , i stammered and fumbled on to the next verse and there was still no effect on my apathetic listeners :/ Small beads of sweat appeared on my forehead and my cheeks seemed to be on fire, hot air blew out from my ears - and with the third verse, i felt that any moment now the crowd would start hurling things at me, the fourth verse was over and i heard a few giggles come from the crowd , my nerves relaxed a bit and as i ended the song - the crowd was in peals of laughter. Phew!!!
I'm not sure whether their mirth was at my feeble attempt to make them laugh with a song that was too dumb for their age, or they simply did find it amusing but i was relieved that my task was done , i dashed out from there, resolving never to sing this song again in my life!

And so  from then on whenever i was requested to sing a song- i would pick up some complicated Sanskrit shlok ( hymn ) or some song in my native tongue ( Malayalam ) making sure that my audience had no knowledge of what i was trying to hum, that way i was safe and nobody would ever know even if i messed up the lyrics . Smart eh! ;)


But after years, when i was requested /appealed / beseech-ed / provoked and threatened my those very brats to sing the song, it felt a bit nostalgic that over the years they still remembered by dumb song and it really did bring a big smile on my face :)

So here goes the song ( no need to close your ears, m not singing it.. :/  )
Interestingly, i haven't forgotten the lyrics of this song- guess some things remain etched in our memories forever!

P.S : For those who have stumbled by from a non-Hindi land, sorry no translations available here - basically the song is just about the ordeal i go through while trying to cook up an eggplant from my uncles farm... Hmmmm :/


Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar 
Mein toh baiganya todne lagee, mein toh baiganya todne lagee
Kaate ghuse do chaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar  
Mein toh baiganya katne lagee, mein toh baiganya katne lagee,
Keede nikle do chaar, ke  baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar  
Mein toh baiganya chachne lagee, mein toh baiganya chachne lagee,
Makhi gire do chaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar  
Mein toh baiganya parosne lagee, mein toh baiganya parosne lagee,
Dande mile do char , ke baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar  
Mein toh baiganya fekane lagee, mein toh baiganya fekane lagee,
Kutte bhoke do char , ke baigan bade mazedaar 
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar
Mere mama lagaye bazaar, ke baigan bade mazedaar 

Thursday 20 September 2012

Gosh!!! I'm engaged?????


[Prologue : Here 'Me' is the evil side of Rino that sometimes pops-up in her mind and scoffs at her good side and makes her think up evil things in her head. None of this was said out loud, but still good Rino apologizes if anybody's sentiments/ feelings were hurt....(Evil Rino lifts up a huge dictionary and thwacks Good Rino's head with it - "That should take care of you for sometime") ]

13th June 2012

6.00am: 
Rrrr-- Rinnnnnnnng Rrrr-- Rinnnnnnnng
Me: What the heck is that noise...  :( :(  Grrrrr... it's that annoying alarm clock... Somebody please flush it away... Oh nooooooooo wait... It's the alarm on my dear mobile ... toooo deary to be flushed away. ]

 Hands find the snooze button and normalcy returns in Rino's wonderland finally. Sigh!

6.10am: 
Wake-up! Wake-up! Wake-up!
 [ Me: Why? Why? Why? ]

6.11am: 
Have a bath n be ready... the beautician will be here at exact 7.30 am.. Come-on! Come-on! Come-on!
Me: How does Mum always know what evil Rino is up to...  :O  ]

Open an eye-lid to just measure the magnitude of Mum's wrath  and if i could still catch (steal) a few winks.. ;)

6.15am:
 Feel a strong tremble.... the bed seems to rock..
[Me: Earthquake! Earthquake! Earthquake!]
But it was just Mum doing her best to wake me up on time :/

I am nudged and pushed  into the bathroom to take a shower!
[ Me: What does a person need to do to get some peaceful sleep around here... Uffff :/  ]

7.30am: 
I step out of the shower and the beautician is at the door.
Me: Wow! Bang on time.. Seems these people are the only ones who do not follow IST ( Indian slow time.. ;) ]

7.35am: 
Mum serves milk and carrots. [Me: Ewwww ]
Don't ask me how i did it.. But i managed to gobble up the carrots and drain them down with the glass of milk in one shot.

Meanwhile, the stylist  had gotten to drying my hair...

8.00 am: 
Half an hour and my hair still looked tousled.. The stylist was hard at work to keep my unruly hair in place.
Me: Poor lady!.. Today you have to deal with the life-time crisis of trying to get  these wild locks in place. Muhahahahaha.. :/  ]

8.05am: 
The stylist gives up on my hair and started working on my face.

8.45am: 
After countless strokes of greasepaint, eye-shadows, blushes, eye-liners and an enormous number of bottled-things ( that i m not familiar with ) gets emptied on my face - I'm finally allowed to take a peek at myself in the mirror..

[Me: What!.. I'm clown-white..Is this how it should be..?????. Somebody Help! Help!.. Get me a huge dictionary again.... :/  ]

The neighbors and friends who had dropped by to catch a glimpse of the 'Cinderella in making' all nodded an approval and claimed that the bride-to-be looked absolutely stunning. The compliments lit up fairy godmother's (stylist) face and she hustled around giving finishing touches to her masterpiece..leaving me completely baffled. :/

9.00am: 
Now came the draping of the Saree.. and the moment i had been dreading the most.
[Me: How the hell am i going to carry this 20 pound Saree the entire day.. :( :(  Oh ... please ... please ... secure it up with as many safety pins as possible. I never thought a Saree would scare the hell out of me! :/  ]

9.45 am:
The finishing touches were done, including lot of hairspray to  keep my hair in place.

10.00 am:
Its getting late!! Come-on Come-on Come-on!
[Me: what.??? Its not till 10.45.. And the venue is just 5 min drive away.. Whats all this hurry about... Grrrrrrr..]

10.10 am: 
We reached the venue. [Me: Huh! there's nobody to even welcome me.. :/  ]
And the plight began... as i had encountered the first set of stairs, I have never hated stairs so much in my life. I had to tread the stairs knock kneed praying that i do not trip on the Saree with my 2-inch high heals.
[Me: You can do it... just five steps.. four to go.. three....oh.. wait slowdown..careful...  two...one... yooohooo.. done!!! Thank God... that's over for now..:)]

10.15 am: 
The photographer comes running and requests me to climb up the stairs again so he can capture it for the video of my arrival
[Me: Are you crazy???? And why do you think i need a video of me walking like Charlie Chaplin ???? Do you think this is a moment I would like to remember.....:/  ]

But since I was warned to remain in my bridal demure for the entire day- I had to politely oblige the photographer to capture my awkward moments of faltering over the stairs like a baby starting on her first steps. Sigh!

10:30 am: 
I enter the auditorium and a few heads turn and i hear a murmur through the small crowd of the grooms relatives
[Me: Better say good things about me... or should i warn you about the dictionary that may come your way! ]

10:45am: 
The ceremony started. We were made to stand for the prayers - which seemed to go on forever.
[Me: I have heard this prayer song all through my childhood days.. But it used to be so short and 
sweet..why the hell is it taking so long today???? Has the priest decided to add a few more verses to 
the song just because i knocked out good Rino for a couple of hours.. Huh! ]

11.05 am: 
Finally the prayers ended and the time came to sit down to exchange the rings - never in life i had to sit down cross-legged while wearing a Saree...and with a thousand eyes watching you , the task just seemed even more impassable. I shut my eyes and just plonked down, but i landed in a very awkward half sitting position because of the Saree...
 [Me: God ... please don't make anybody notice this.. I would be the next joke of the millennium.]
But curse the digital media these days - its everywhere on Facebook and even in my engagement album and the videos...and just like my stumbling walk my graceless posture to was made a Kodak moment for generations to revel. Sigh!
 [Me :For those of you who failed to notice it, dare you rush to FB to check it out.. I'm all set and ready with the dictionary  :/  )

The engagement rings were placed in front of us and i instantly had butterflies in my stomach.. Of course not because of the thought of being engaged -that hadn't struck me yet.
 [ Me : What if the ring slipped and fell out of my butterfingers ?? Would there be a hushed silence followed by the gasped looks , hushed tones murmuring 'Apshakun' (bad omen) , with the camera highlighting the panicked looks on my parents face.] Hmmmm... i know Ekta Kapoor serial effect.. : P

Thankfully we had no problem in getting the rings on as they were totally loose for our fingers as we both had lost a few pounds. Yeay! (Every ounce of fat lost is a matter of joy- who cares whether the rings fits you or not.. :D )

We waited for the priest to finish off the concluding rituals so we would be back on our feet. Though i had managed to put on a patient face, it was fun to watch hubby-to-be being totally restless to stand up again. At least we were in it together - already following the norms of marriage - 'to be with each other in sickness and in health' i guess! :P

1:00 pm: 
We were still greeting the guests who had come to bless us, but i swear my jaws were totally stiff from trying to give that perfect pose with every guest and the growling tummy was not helping either.
Finally the last guest had wished us and it was time for me to hog like a pig, but the photographers whisked us away for some candid couple photographs.
Me: Really...  candid photos??? I am tired .. Please somebody find me some Food! Food! Food! ]

1:45 pm:
Finally i had the plate in my hand and off i went piling it up with the yummy food. I was just about to take my first bite and the photographs came hustling to get a shot of us feeding each other.
Me: Have some mercy guys!! Please!! ]
But the pleading looks did not dither them so we had to oblige.

2:30 pm:
Everything was done and it was time to pack up and go home , get rid of the Saree and the excess amount of hair spray out of my hair - which had still left my hair to look like i had just been electrocuted.
Me: Ohhhh!! This event has really shaken me up! Need to go into exile for a few days... Phew!! ]

Well so it took me 3 months, countless texts/calls asking me 'You getting married so early??' (to which i hotly reply 'Chill guys... there is still time... :/  ' ) and burning a huge hole in my pocket from giving engagement treats (to the evil ones celebrating my misery .. :/ ) and this post to  realize - Gosh! I am engaged ???? 

P.S: Though i missed all my near and dear ones (with who i share a blood relationship ) as they couldn't make it to the ceremony, I thank my other near and dear ones- the ones who held my hands and took me to school, the ones who prayed when i got sick or was about to give an exam, the ones who took care of me when Mum was out of town, the ones with whom i dreamt of marrying that perfect guy, the ones who taught me to bunk classes, the ones who celebrate when i ace a test or crack an interview.... Thank-you  uncles, aunties and all my friends for always being there for me -  you guys will actually make the Germans who coined the proverb 'Blood is thicker than Water' run for their money... :D

Hmmm... curious about the guy who is to take me as his wife,.... ummmmm well doesn't he deserve a whole new post ?? *winks* 

(Also I'll need to devise a way to block him from reading that post. Hehehe :D )