Totally 'be-car' !!

Finally after a two-year hiatus, hubby gets his new set of wheels!
Though its not the first time he owns a car, but this time the excitement and enthusiasm seems to be on a different level. :f
The last car he owned  had to go, because he married a super smart woman (yup that's me ;) ) who successfully managed to drill into his brain - "You need to invest in a home , not a PlayStation or a caaar!". :P
So as home EMIs took the toll on our minuscule budget, he had to part ways with his favourite toy!

Finally after a lot of deliberation, altercation - he shooting down most of my brilliant options and a dramatic search for the 'right' car that suits our needs ( or rather his ) , we zeroed in on a pre-owned car. :f
Though I hate the colour, he managed to win me over not with its aesthetics, its Torque, its Bhp or its safety features  but with the crucial promise of being there and driving me around 'whenever' and 'wherever' I needed  [  Well what more do I need !!! :) ]
But I had no idea what I was signing up for - random night drills to check if the car is 'OK'; if you are stepping out of the house for any reason - the car has to be inspected; no matter how late you come from work - the car has to be inspected ; over-driven googling on how to make the car even more "awesome", frequent discussions ( always one-sided ) on what the manufacturers should have done to make it more 'awesome', random instructions like " watch the door " , " don't leave your stuff in here " , " your nails could leave a scratch "  and the most damaging - refer to the car as 'she' not 'it'. :/ :/
 [ You think I am going to oblige that! :@ ]

Further more the constant obsession  to wash-dry-polish-vacuum the car to make it sparkle when getting him to take a bath on a lazy Sunday afternoon can be a tussle! :/

Yeah... you got it ! My new found nemesis who is stealing all the 'ATTENTION'! :@ :@

P.S:- I do pray the novelty wears off soon, as for now he is totally "be-car"! :/

Being "Mallu" in a "Non-Mallu" land!

I am one of those humongous number of  insanely crazy yet adorable  "Mallu" born and trying to survive  in a "non-Mallu" land (anywhere other than Kerala).

Though we are striving hard to be a better breed , here's an insight -

We do get offended at times when called 'Mallu' or 'Mellu' , we  would be preferred to be addressed as a 'Malayali'  as we speak Malyalam or a 'Keralite' as we hail from the state of Kerala.
But we are definitely  thankful to the ones who don't identify us as  'Madrasi' :P

Most of us don't have a last name, barring a few - the 'Menon' 'Nair' or 'Pillai' . But having succumbed to the necessity of a last name in the Non-Mallu land, some of us  are compelled to add  initials or add the location (place name) of their ancestral homes or the traditional occupational clans they originated from as their last names.
Beware these names turn to be pretty majestic!!! Dont believe! Try pronouncing 'Ezhuttachchan' [ Don't worry if you are not a Mallu, you are definitely gonna get it wrong!]
Unfortunately for me , I do not have a last name and I have always been at the mercy of  a world that doesn't seem to understand! :/

Mallus tend to name their kids in a rhyming manner, no matter whether the names make sense or not. Sample this: 'viji', 'liji' , 'siji' or 'lijo' , 'sijo', 'jijo'.
So either be the first-born to gain some leniency coz if you are the third born probably your name would sound retard! :P
Thankfully my parents planned to have a single piece like me - anything rhyming with 'Rino' would have been even more ridiculous!  Though I would have loved to have someone share my apathy. ;)

We have highly conservative parents. Dont believe? Try attending a Malayali congregation or a wedding in a short tight dress, you are bound to be treated like you just landed from Mars. :/
"You may now kiss the bride!" is a norm that is never happening in Kerala anytime soon! :P

Every Mallu parent owns a gold reserve that gets paraded at the weddings , but believe me we make sure the reserves exhaust soon after the wedding. ;)
Yes I'm broke too not matter what my wedding pictures suggest! :P

Our affinity for coconuts are not  just limited to the food, coz  they get added in famous dialogues like "I should have planted a coconut tree instead... "  used by every Mallu parent when we fail their expectations. :P

Onam is not our 'new-year' , but if you see some of us perched like monkeys on the "golden shower tree" (Cassia fistula) in the month of April trying to gather the yellow flowers, then its our new year. :)

We take immense pride in being the most 'bevda' (drunk) state in the country with the highest literacy rate ( More for the former than the latter!)

Yes we do have someone or the other in the middle-east or rather 'the Gelf' .  You see we make them function! :P And why should you complain we add to the GDP of the country! ;)

We contribute to most of the famous 'Mundu'  (lungi) jokes but no one  can  truly rock it like a Mallu can! ;) And the world is  in love with the Kerala 'Kasavu' sarees . Yes the white - golden saree every lady today vies for! :)

Believe me there are other food we eat other than 'idli' and 'dosha' ( that's how it should be pronounced). And they are far more delicious than you can imagine! :)

We are made to master the most complex language in the world , a language that's 'unspeakable' and 'incomprehensible' even  to our southern counterparts , but our relatives back in Kerala still feel we speak improper Malayalam! :/

We challenge  you to try your hand at learning our tongue with or without the "accent" but we can pick up any dialect, diction or accent with extreme ease! :)

We  have an opinion , a view about anything and everything under the sun! Though we know we should shut up at times but the Mallu "all-knowing" attitude in us  makes it rather difficult! :P

You are definetly  bound to have  atleast one Mallu colleague, classmate , neighbour , friend or  an acquintance no matter in which part of the globe you are . Yes we are that omnipresent! :P
We can adapt ,survive  and flourish anywhere and everywhere in the world. :)

But if you still haven't had a Mallu encounter - you have missed so much in life! :P
Because you don't meet a "Mallu", we happen to you! :)

Disclaimar:  I'm extremely proud of my Mallu origins , so please don't ban me from Kerala; how else will I ever eat beef again! :f