To be or not to be.. ?

"What you wanna be when you grow up?"
The question that gets thrown at you at every turn of your life.
It starts off as a casual question to a toddler which slowly takes on a serious twist as life progresses.
Not just to your family , but its supposed to be the favorite ice-breaker for even those nosy uncles and aunts about whom you really don't care, but who seem to take profound interest in your ambitions :@

Well for me its been a whirlwind journey which still doesn't seem to cease! ;)

Having been taught by some of the best teachers in the world and being the nerd of the class; being a  'TEACHER' was my ultimate aim! :)
Many a times ahead of an exam , I was bombarded with requests to brief complex topics to my fellow peers who had come under-prepared; and thanks to those nervous bunch of idiots who showered praises for my humble efforts I started to believe - 'YES I could teach!' :brow
I even had a blackboard  at home where I practiced teaching my imaginary students and corrected books (old magazines) with a  RED pen Yes I was that serious! :P
Then as wisdom dawned on me,I realized teaching a bunch of nerve-wracks just before an exam (who seemed extremely attentive at that moment as their life depended on it ) and teaching a class full of impatient rowdies was a totally different affair! :/
And being impaired with the fear of public-speaking , I knew this job was never going to be my cup of tea :f

As I graduated to high school the 'Kargil War' happened and the air of patriotism seemed to be everywhere. My country was in trouble and I felt the need to act!
Though we lost a lot of soldiers to the war, it ignited a new spirit in me. I wanted to join the armed forces - serve my nation. And being the grand-daughter of a freedom fighter and a daughter of one who always wanted to join the army, it seemed to run in my blood. But then realization struck again, the physical ability needed to attain the feat was too high. I was a DWARF! :(

As I reached 10th grade, one of my cousin relocated to our place to study 'MEDICINE'. Her books fascinated me and I was drawn to the world of human science. Yes I wanted to be a doctor, the noblest profession ever and the thought of having the power to mend, fix and heal people was overwhelming. I would get to play GOD!
 Having lost my granny to a disease that affected just one-in-a-billion powered by resolve to be the 'best surgeon' in the world. I would be doing a noble deed everyday - saving peoples life! :angel
But then my fear of numbers halted my dream, as I stumbled at the medical entrance tests; Physics being a mandatory subject was full of numbers. Ah! What crap!! Why you need Physics to be a surgeon is still a mystery to me but my dream was definitely off the table now :(

I did want to give it another shot but losing an academic year din seem to go down well with my parents and so ENGINEERING happened - the next big thing any ambitious parent could think for their child. Though being an "Arithmophobic", how I survived Engineering is a whole other story. ;)
So here I am now writing software codes for a living! Having sustained in this industry for 5 years and seemingly doing a fair job with nobody doubting my skills I seem to be doing well. But the closest I got to saving a patient's life is just writing  some random code for 'not-so- life-threatening' medical devices. Sigh!

But then  again when work gets mundane, my heart does seem to wander - and having started this blog along with editing a book, being a writer does seem to fascinate me now and then. The occasional accolades and praises do fuel me to pen down a 'BOOK'. Only thing I  have no idea what to write about ? :(
Then on days when I perfect a  new recipe, I feel I should start-up a restaurant chain!!
 Mind you not a "single restaurant" but a "chain of restaurants". Yes I could get super ambitious at times!! :vD
And when friends rely on me to pick out outfits for them the 'entrepreneur' in me awakens again;  I definitely need to own a fashion house. ;)
Or when I watch a super-hero movie, I feel I should be secretly fighting crimes! ;)

But on days like today when life is bleak and some random test scores suggest my skills have sky-dived to a new low, I just seek some reason to be HAPPY! :(